Relational Aggression (wha?) aka how girls bully girls

Just read a great article on Relational Aggression (aka how girls bully). check it out at

In the meantime, here are the tops tips for preventing relational aggression:

•Be a good example for your child. Don’t gossip about or denigrate friends, neighbors or co-workers.
•Become aware of your child’s position in the school/peer hierarchy. Try to determine if she is a victim or an aggressor. Many girls are “in the middle” and are merely passive observers of the situation. Help those “middle girls” to understand that, while ignoring both parties is easy, the moral high road is to support the victims and discourage the aggressors.
•Aggressors should be shown how hurtful their behavior is. Often they don’t realize it and are quite contrite when it is brought to their attention.
•Victims need advocacy. Speak to school officials. Many guidelines and programs are available to guide the process and educate those who are unfamiliar with the problem.
•Examine your school’s bullying program and encourage administrators to include programs on relational aggression. Many traditional anti-bullying programs ignore this important subject.
•Encourage your daughter to be involved in a variety of activities where she meets peers and adults from all walks of life. Encourage hobbies that build self-esteem and a sense of personal accomplishment.


2 Responses to “Relational Aggression (wha?) aka how girls bully girls”

  1. TKIAM Says:

    I read the article you referred in this post and loved it. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I recently posted an article about “Mean Girl” syndrome from a different perspective ( and am working on revisiting it by discussing some of daughter’s experiences. This will help. Thanks!


    • Biagirl Inc. Says:

      Glad it helped. Love reading from your perspective BTW. My eldest daughter is 7 and, unbelievably, already facing a lot of these issues. My one cold comfort is that she still looks to me as the “one with all the answers”. Not looking forward to the day that changes.


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