Travelling Mom

The Travelling Mom.

Do you ever have days where you just cannot cope? I have those and I have them often, but they are intensified when I travel. 

I am a full time working mom with a busy job that requires me to travel regularly. I have a husband who is also travelling right now for 6 weeks straight – just to give you a little context.

On my second day in Toronto, in between meetings, I got a frantic call from my nanny saying that my 6 year old was bawling, screaming of stomach pains and refusing to go to school. I talked with my daughter, but I am not skilled enough to talk a 6 year old off the ledge via cell phone while simultaneously gauging whether she was faking it or not.  I advised my nanny that she had to make the decision and if things didn’t calm down, then a day home it was. So my perfectly healthy daughter played hooky for the day.

I returned home this afternoon from a stress-filled trip to Toronto. I returned to my amazing sister-in-law, who had stayed two nights with my beautiful girls (6 and 2).  She raved about how perfectly my children had behaved and what angels they were for her.

After 10 minutes of me being home they both started to do the inevitable 180, reverting into the tantrum-throwing, out of control, demanding, whining loves of my life. 

I have bad parenting days. This was one of them and I had only been home for 4 hours!! 

After one major fibbing incident, three temper tantrums, and three dramatic stompings out of the room, I didn’t know what to do.

After the 2 year old was in bed (after bedtime battles ranging from not picking a story, not wanting to brush teeth and running away from me), I came downstairs to the 6 year old who gave me more attitude than even I could muster in my teenage years!

I asked her to turn off the tv and go brush her teeth with me. Usually we cuddle, but I didn’t have it in me… I was at a breaking point. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and cry.  In my head, I know the girls’ behaviour all points back to my absence and the tantrums point to their absolute security with me, but emotionally, I just couldn’t deal with it.  I was low and I felt lower remembering how simply perfect they had been for their auntie for 48 consecutive hours.

I took my 6 year old into the bathroom, barely able to speak for fear of breaking down.  She turned to me and said “ I’m going to put myself to sleep and I don’t want a story”.  Ouch.

My childish reaction from exhaustion, stress, and impatience was an abrupt, “Fine, good night, sleep well, I’ll see you in the morning.”

I went to prepare my dinner… then I stopped.  I reminded myself she was SIX YEARS OLD and I am the teacher, I am the mentor, I am the one she needs always on her side.

I went upstairs to her.  I told her that I was hurt and how I felt when she lied to me and when she fought me on everything I had asked of her this evening.  I told her I love her more than anything on this planet but that sometimes I need her to work with me and to be the “angel” with me that she is with everyone else.

I know I put a lot on a 6 year old, but I had to try to make her understand where my tears and frustration were coming from… is it too much for her? Absolutely. Did we end off well with us resuming the mother/daughter roles? Absolutely.  I reminded her that we are a TEAM and that to be a good team we have to keep working at it and talking about it… She asked me if this is what Biagirl was all about… I nearly lost it again.

Yes – it is what Biagirl is all about. It’s about connecting with my daughters, forging bold and beautiful moments…being real, being honest, but most importantly about learning together.

I am learning.  I want to have fun and play with my daughters– to have those moments that may come a little easier to other women in their lives.  

I am not perfect. I am not always a good parent, but at the end of it all, I love my girls more than anything else and I will do everything in my power to keep us a team.

Dhana

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One Response to “Travelling Mom”

  1. Pamela Says:

    Thank you for this honest and frank posting, Dhana. I like the concept of working together as a team. It seems that the idea resonates with your your daughter as well. All the best for your launch!

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